The mind of a man
by Lookiehere
Summary: "You know, sometimes I feel well and vital in the world, and sometimes I just feel so distressed I want to pull my hair out by the roots." She knew who he was and still, she smiled at him when no one else would. And he was so blind he simply could not see it. Daryl/OC. Rated T because of the language, mostly, can possibly change rating in the future.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey all. Norman Reedus crush strikes again. Small thing about Daryl and an OC. Let me know if I should continue. give opinions. Review please**

_**Disclaimer: i own nothing associated with the walking dead**_

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**"It is the strange fate of man, that even in the greatest of evils the fear of the worst continues to haunt him."**  
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**Johann Wolfgang von Goethe**

She was long past the phase when she willed herself to believe everything surrounding her was just a nightmare. No. This wasn't a nightmare; it was hell on full impact. She had decided that on the very moment she was brought to camp by an unwilling Darryl. So unwilling he had been that she had willed herself on the spot that his blue eyes had absolutely no effect on her. Promises, promises.

Lord only knew where she had her head.

Lauren passed a hand through her hair, grimacing at the slight oily feeling that stuck to her dark strands. Getting up, she snatched the hunting knife that lay at her side and headed for the river, grabbing a bar of hardened soap in her way. A woman could only endure so much on her hair without washing it, she decided, and it was indeed a long time since she had the time to take a proper bath. Or as proper as the circumstances allowed. Decency was of the last things on her mind when she stripped to stand only in her worn bra and panties and slowly edged into the cold water. A slight vibration in the water alerted her and she immediately turned around, prepared to sprint if she had too. She saw nothing, but a strange sensation left the fine hairs in her neck standing out. A hand gripped her shoulder and she desperately searched for her knife, ready to scream bloody murder. Or accept her prominent death.

-Stand still woman. Ain't a walker, not planning 'ta be either.

Laurel's eyebrows almost shot into her hairline when she heard his drawl. She could feel every inch of his body behind hers and she was not quite sure she was ready for it. She turned to face him, trying to hide the blush that, she could bet, was already spreading to her neck.

-I thought I was going have an early demise. Can't you announce yourself? A simple holler would do.

She tried, honestly, she tried her hardest not to look at his exposed body and for a brief and glorious moment she succeeded. But one can only wish so much and have it answered.

-'Ya should be more alert. I told 'ya never to leave yer knife. – a pointed look at the knife in the riverside made Laurel feel slightly ashamed. He had told her that. He himself had pushed the knife into her direction the moment they had met. And what and interesting interaction that was. She spent part of the journey to the camp thinking he only communicated by grunts only to discover that part of him attracted her. What was it with women and manly guys? Part of human instinct, she guessed.

- You can release me now, you know?

Like a lightning he grabbed her arms and pushed her flush against his body. Despite her halfhearted protests, he didn't let her go. He stood very close, so close she could feel the blood pulse through his body and the intense heat that emanated from his tanned skin. He smelled good, much better than she had expected considering that he spent most of his time in the forest, hunting and running around. He smelled like sweat and earth. A slight lingering scent of smoke too and as hard as she tried, she could not help but to gaze into his electrifying blue eyes in a daze. Every hair in her body stood high in attention.

-'Ya cold?

Shit. She swallowed the tick mass of webs that were filling her throat at the sound of his voice. Deep, masculine and rich. A profound accent that was suddenly extremely erotic. If someone could ask her later, she would tell this was the moment she knew she was lost.

-Ya've been teasing me for weeks woman.

She did a double take. What? Teasing?

-How can I possibly be teasing you in this state? – she pointed to her still dirty and long hair that clang to her shoulders in disheveled waves and the skin that certainly needed a good scrub and, she hated to admit, the lack of shaving that until now hadn't really been a top priority.

-'M not talking about that. The way 'ya look at me like 'm the last drop of water in the desert and that smile of yours.

Well, damn, she really did not realize she had been looking at him like that.

-I don't do it on purpose, you know.

-What do 'ya see in me? All women here look at me like 'm the fuckin' plague.

Lauren tried not to wince at the last hissed words that she knew were true. But then, what did she see in him? The man who protected them, fed them, and yet was treated like redneck garbage.

-I see you like you are. Believe me, I don't put you in some sort of crazy pedestal, oh no. You're rude, snarky and sometimes violent and dirty. – she suppressed a smile at the sneer that appeared in his features, curling his lip and making him look all the more savage. – But you are loyal, you protect us even if we don't acknowledge it. And you saved me.

She could not tear her gaze away from his, fell into his light eyes. 'This is ridiculous,' she thought when the sneer stayed in place. She tried to disentangle her body from his hug but found herself, yet again, trapped in his arms.

-If all you can do is glare at me – she murmured, defeated – then let me take my bath alone. Please.

His hands fell off her arms in an instant. He shook his head, the mop of hair swing gently from side to side. Lauren just stood there. Her heart thundered. She lifted a hand to touch his cheek and saw him flinch. Taking a shuddering breath, she picked the abandoned bar of soap that floated at her side and started to wander deeper into the water, feeling rejected.

-I can't give 'a what you want.

-And what do I want? – Lauren's voice hit him like cold ice and Daryl flexed the hand that was suddenly itching to touch her skin. The woman tempted him like a she devil, even when he knew for certain she didn't try to seduce him. He had had a fair share of women trying to seduce him and Lauren wasn't the type. That was the problem. She was no whore. She was no bitch trying to fuck him. And he didn't know how to handle that.

She inched to his side again. They stood very close and he could see the green specks in her light brown eyes that were gazing deep into his own.

-You're freezing me.- she said it softly, her lips only an inch from his. For a moment he let her warmth embrace him. Then he kissed her.

Lauren felt faint. His lips were warm, the touch surprisingly soft, but only for a minute.

And he wanted her, he realized. Quite desperately he wanted her. But she was something he could not have.

She was never going to want him.

She was no whore.

Only whores wanted him. Merle always said it. He knew it was true.

And that was how Lauren was left, waist deep in frigid water. A hand over her lips as she saw his retreating body go back into the camp.


	2. Savior

**Another chappie. A filler one, I guess but allas, it is a chapter. Hope you enjoy it :D Review**

_**Disclaimer: i own nothing associated with the walking dead**_

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The night had finally fallen. Sitting by the fire Lauren glanced around and saw that Shane and Dale seemed to be on watch. She repressed a sight, thinking about what had happened in the morning. How could a man be so bipolar? One moment Daryl was clutching her almost naked body next to his and the next, well she would think he felt sickened by her. She could see from her spot the light that emanated from his tent, almost in the edge of the camp, and his shadow moving around from whatever he was doing.

"What's with the face?" Glenn's voice snatched her from her stupor. She just shrugged and stood up, not wanting to bother anyone with her love life, or lack of it in this case. The summer night was much too hot for her to handle and she scrambled inside the tent she shared with Amy.

"Glenn told me you had come to bed early." Amy once again interrupted her thoughts and she almost snorted at the mention of a bed.

"I was just thinking about life." She looked at the younger woman as she sat in the sleeping bag next to hers.

"Life. What kind of life is this?" Amy murmured.

"Well, that's a lousy comment if you wished to cheer me up." Lauren shifted closer to her and sat up next to her, cramping the already small space.

"We better sleep. We have laundry to do in the morning. The filthy kind. "Amy said as she adjusted herself on top of the sleeping bag.

Lauren closed her eyes and tried to block the flash of blue that would from time to time creep up and haunt her even in her dreams. Damn him, it was almost dawn and she still hadn't managed to fall asleep. She tensed when she heard the zipper from her tent screech but remembered a walker wouldn't do that. She closed her eyes as soon as the familiar scent of sweat and smoke reached her nostrils. What in the devil was _he_ doing in her tent?

"Rise n' shine woman. 'Ya got clothes to wash"

She could kill him. She could just grab her knife and be done with it. That would certainly stop the smirk that she knew was adorning his lips.

"Go away Daryl. Go ask Carol to do it. I want to sleep" she replied without opening her eyes.

"Git yer' ass up. Ain't gonna bother the woman when yer' awake." He roughly yanked her from her sleeping bad, gripping her tightly when she swayed lightly in her feet.

Daryl silently cursed himself for this weakness. He knew he had to stay away from her but he felt like a moth attracted to a burning fire.

"Do you always feel the need to manhandle me, you big brute? Just give me the things you want me to wash and I'll do it, okay?" the anger she was feeling was rapidly overpowered by a growing tiredness that his presence brought.

Getting out of the tent, he picked the bundle of sweaty clothes and swung them in her direction, watching with a disguised smile as he saw the grimace in her face.

"I don't know how the hell are these clothes so filthy. But I tell you what, you can fuck off now and go do whatever you do alone while I wash this." Her voice was cold and a part of her flinched at the tone, before remembering what had happened the day before. The feeling of rejection tore at her and she hurried to the river, ignoring the disgruntled look in Daryl's face as she retreated.

She sat near the edge of the water looking longingly at a flimsy flannel shirt, wishing that things could somehow be different. Wishing the world was still the same it was before when she was just a teacher and walkers hadn't appeared. Wishful thinking, she knew.

"Hey" Carol's voice said cautiously.

"Are you ok?" she pointed to Lauren and she had to wonder if she looked that bad.

"Fine" she shrugged "Just couldn't sleep."

"Oh."

They sat in silence for a few minutes before Andrea showed up in all her morning glory, along with a silent Amy.

"I don't know what the fuck is wrong with you two. It's so early even the birds are still cooped up." She growled, snatching someone's pants from the improvised laundry basket and getting to work.

"Well, I don't know if you are aware" Lauren remarked "But you are awake too."

"That's because you and Daryl couldn't keep it down! Screaming at each other and waking half of the camp. What happened anyway?

"We had a minor disagreement." Lauren answered in a hushed tone.

Andrea snorted with gusto.

"Yeah right."

Lauren emerged herself again in washing the clothes, shaking her head with disgust as she picked up a particularly nasty pair of pants from none other than Merle Dixon. Apparently when Lori's husband, Rick, had come back all sorts of troubles had happened. A chained up to a roof Merle Dixon was one of them and a very pissed Daryl was another. She sighed. She could only hope he would find his brother and return to safety.

"Jesus Christ" she muttered to herself "This man is a fucking pig."

Jacqui had arrived in the meanwhile and joined them. Suddenly Carol's broke the silence.

"I do miss my Maytag. "

_"_I miss my coffeemaker, with that dual-drip filter and built-in grinder, honey." Jacqui replied in a dreamy tone.

"I miss my Benz. My sat-nav"

_"_My computer. Texting" Amy said, looking down at her hands.

_"_I miss my vibrator." Andrea added, smirking like a mad woman.

Carol just looked behind her and Lauren noticed Ed watching them stiffly.

"I bet you miss it too Carol, with a man like that" she said, winking at the blushing woman knelt by her side.

"I do"

Laughter filled the air when they heard her murmur those simple two words. Lauren saw Ed approach them by the corner of her eye and pulled Andrea's sleeve. They both stood up and adopted a defensive position.

"This ain't no comedy club! Come on" he snarled, moving swiftly to grab Carol's arm. Lauren stepped up and grabbed his offending hand. Fear cursed through her veins but she ignored it and put up a cold façade.

"Go away Ed. Go get drunk and bother someone else."

"Get the fuck out of my face you whore, I ain't talking to you!

Andrea was fuming with suppressed anger as she approached Carol.

"You don't have to go"

What happed next was a flurry of movement that caught Lauren completely by surprise. Ed hit Carol, Andrea launched herself at him and she too made a move to stop the pig's abuse. What she wasn't expecting, for sure, was the fist that was directed at her face and that she couldn't dodge. Falling to the muddy bank of the river in a heap, she tried to focus her vision when Shane showed up. Her head, on the contrary was demanding something else and she succumbed to pained darkness.

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When she woke up again it was already starting to get dark.

"That must have been a hell of a hit" she thought to herself.

Getting up from her spot in Dale's RV, she moved to open the door when it opened and a smiling Amy was making her way inside. Her face distorted and a horrifying scream tore her throat. Lauren ran forward with a bat in her hand, not believing what she saw.

Walkers.

With a might swing, she battered the head of the walker that had just taken a chunk of Amy's arm. Grief overwhelmed her and she briefly thought of Daryl.

"LORI, GET HIM DOWN!" Shane's voice rang across camp and Lori threw herself over her son as Shane opened fire over their heads.

Lauren tried to dispose of the walkers that passed her way, trying to corner her in the RV. She didn't want to die like an animal and she fought with all her strength, all the while her head seemed to almost burst from the pain of the earlier hit. She cursed Ed violently, knowing it was of no use now.

Her eyes darted around and found Dale trying to keep a walker's disgruntled jaw away from his face. She ran to him and another mighty swing of her bat and the walker stopped trying to get back up and lay limp. Lauren grabbed Dale's hand and pushed him away from the scene, trying to fight and survive in the chaos.

Somewhere she could hear the faint cries of Eliza and Morales shouting, "I'm coming, baby!"

Lauren looked for Carol and Sophia her heart felt somewhat lighter when she saw they were next to Carl, Shane and Lori while Shane was doing his best to separate every walker's head from its shoulder.

"Come on! Make your way to me!" Shane yelled

Then she saw them. The noise must have alerted them to the attack in the camp. They were back and Merle was with them. Dodging a rotting hand, she silently thanked God that they were all back.

Try as she might, she could not get away from the rotting corpse of a woman that was trying desperately to get supper. An arrow forced its way into the walker's head and the weight of the body pushed them both to the ground with a thud.

"LAUREN!" Daryl's voice rang across the night and he broke into a sprint to where he saw her crumble to the bloodied ground. Dragging the foul smelling walker away from her, he took her appearance. Her eyes were wide and her mouth hang open in a silent scream. But she was alive. She was alive.

A gasping breath drew from the bottom of her lungs and she closed her eyes.

"Thank you"


End file.
